a funny incident - told as a story for all of you

Something funny has happened this morning and I was going to relate this to you. It is not a great story, but just something that can make you smile.

You know every morning before I go to work I sit with the girls in the railwaystation and talk. And we all smoke, although this is a non smoker place. So there is a man every morning, whom I know as the older brother of a former boyfriend at school, who is a bit of a weird appearance, very slim and tall, but not athletic, the type that would always fall over his own feet and he seems to be a devoted nonsmoker.

One time, maybe one or two months ago he'd take courage and say "this is non smoking here, folks, remember that, put out your cigarettes!" Of course there was no reaction actually. He'd also avoid telling me to stop smoking and attack the girls instead, waiting for the very moment to see me without and them with a cigarette. This morning I was sitting there with a 20 year old blonde puffing cigarettes. I was just going to light one, when he butted in: "This is a non smoking area, will you please immediately put out this cigarette!!!" to the girl.

She was not in the mood and said something, that even surprised me a bit, which was nearly word by word "Sucker, go fuck yourself!" He felt not at all like giving up and went to the woman on the counter, complaining "Those kids keep annoying me with their cigarettes everyday, not enough that this is a nonsmoker and they violate the law, they would always smoke here, day by day!"

We went outside to smoke our cigarettes there. Now you must know, there are four seats in the hall of our railway station. He would sit in the middle right, I chose to sit on the very left, so I didnt have to see the punishing eyes of the woman on the counter, so she took the middle left seat beside him and he said immediately: "If I was you, I would definitely not sit beside me!" while looking at me and silently suggesting something like "Victoreeeeeeeeee!"

"I can sit where I like," she said. He grabbed her leg saying "you dont like this, do you, just like I dont like your smoke?!" She got upset and said "You bastard, I bash you! I kick you in the face, you sonofabitch!" or something.

I padded her knee to soothe her and said: "Theres no need to let this all break out, slow down, why get so angry?"

"He's doing it too!" he triumphed.

And this is how come, that I came to work this morning in one of my best moods ever.

We would talk it over afterwards in the train, but I actually think there was no use for her to beat this man up, which she can do easily, I suppose, as he doesnt look so strong.

- Story is not ended here -

It continued the very next day. This time none of the girls were present. Just a female tramp with dark brown skin from stirring dirt and wrinkles all over her face, though not older than lets say 40, sat on the middle right side of the four chairs in Sinzig (Sinzig/Germany not Sinzig/Massachusettes) railway station. I chose the very left chair.

An elder man looked around in the mimikry of self - confidence and then sat down right side of the tramp to prove it. The tramp - lady was always murmuring stories of bad experiences to herself in a never ending monologue. I could not actually find out, if it ended anywhere to start the loop again, or if it just continued with slight modifications. Now she asked this bold man for a cigarette, who immediately released one and gave a light. Then he'd stand up and disappear.

I was still contemplating on the outlook of this freakazoid creature, when I suddenly saw the non smoker approaching and became therefore filled with the most pleasant anticipation of the following incident. He'd take the same seat, the other man had occupied, and start a nice conversation with the tramp, which had the tendency of onesidedness, for she would continue her murmuring, which was now something like "the police, they treat me as dogshit". He then realized she was smoking a cigarette.

Therefore he said: "Would you please put out that cigarette, this is a non smoking area!" "Do I look like dogshit?", she'd continue without the slightest notion of him saying something to her.

He would not give up immediately and try it again, but even now the different ways to use dogshit as a metaphore would be more interesting to her. That very moment I could not help to burst out laughing, for the whole situation was stuck. He'd stand up and leave the room so the end of the second episode could be reached.

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© 1999-2003 Grasnarbe - Letzte Änderung/Last Edited: 16.11.2003